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Greencastle, Indiana ~ Tuesday, May 13, 2008
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Flying Ninja Horses seen as a threat to criminals
Posted Wednesday, March 26, 2008, at 9:24 AM<< Previous | Read comments | Respond | Email link | Next >>
Flying Ninja Horses have become a serious issue of late. Many crimes have been averted due to such beasts -- and that's what they are, beasts.
One alleged criminal said that during his attempt to commit a felony, he was surrounded in a dark alley by a motley bunch. After waving his gun and firing a few clips into the air as warning shots, he reported he lost all hope for success in his endeavor. "They just stood there looking at me, it was like a staring contest but they could see into my soul," the perp. said. "I just lost my will to commit the crime because I was worn down by their ninja gaze." The Flying Ninja Horses generally do more than simple jedi-mindtricks though. After all, the name would suggest they fly. There have currently been no reports of UFO's in the shape of a pack of horses, but the night skies are often too dark to discern such a spectacle. There have been several eyewitness reports of "darkly dressed horses, about five-feet-six-inches at the shoulder with mohawk style hair." The Chief of Public Affairs said there is nothing to fear unless you are "a dirty scoundrel, bound up in no goodness." It is presently believed that the gang of Flying Ninja Horses is nocturnal due to their activity only being seen at times following darkness. During the day these Clark Kent's of the barnyard retain their quiet, hay-eating demeanor. "It is really like those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in real life. Well, I guess there is no proof these horses are teens, but guessing from their haircuts they can be nothing but," the Chief continued. The identifying characteristics are hotly debated due to the horses being ninjas. As some may know, ninjas operate under a veil of secrecy and often believed to have superhuman -- errr, superequine powers. In league with Bigfoot, Nessie, the Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD's) in Iraq, the Zapruder film, aliens and common sense, the Flying Ninja Horses will probably only ever be seen in shakey film footage and doctored photographs by those committing heinous acts against others. It is not presently known if these new horses are the progeny of Mr. Ed, or if he was at one time a member of the Flying Ninja Horses or not. Some evidence has surfaced however that he was at one time the grand master, but those documents mysteriously disappeared. For now, all we can do is applaud the anonymous efforts "they" have done to make our lives here a bit more enjoyable in blissful ignorance. To that, all that can be said is "yay neigh." Comments Showing comments in chronological order [Show most recent comments first] |
Hot topics Awesomeness and my attempt at being(5 ~ 7:16 AM, May 12)
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Do you have, like, not enough to do in a day?
Really, shut up and keep off the LSD man!!
what is this?
With all the meaningful topics that could have been addressed and this is your best shot? I have a feeling one of the other Bloggers will be writing a "So Long, Crafton" blog in the very near future.
much can be said for the recreational use of pharmaceuticals....
"Kevin Crafton's response:
I save meaningful topics for my bi-weekly radio talk show. This weeks topic is rural sense of humor."
So how about putting it here so those of us that do not have access to your radio program can read it, My reception here in Iraq can't really get the Greencastle radio stations and we are not allowed streaming media. And I do agree with you bondsman! But I have never taken that much of any pharmaceutical to get me to that state, maybe I'll have to try harder!!
O.K. now I get it.... you wrote about horses so that makes it "rural" humor. So what do you consider "rural"? Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch? I guess the Banner readers don't deserve the good stuff.... Pass the pharmaceuticals and "Beam me up, Scottie!".............. So long, Crafton...........................
Thomas Paine -
LOL... your use of "Beam me up, Scottie" triggered a flashback to a very interesting character of Congress' past.
Do you remember James Traficant? He was a congressman from Ohio. He was a Democrat, and allegedly a bit corrupt (but not any more so than most of them on the Hill).
I actually witnessed him (via C-Span) addressing the House and concluding it with "Beam me up, Scottie."
He was notable for two things - his god-awful hairpieces and his willingness to take on Democrats as well as Republicans when it came to things he was against.
(Which is why, in my opinion, he was booted out of Congress. Thats right, he wasnt voted out at the polls, he was kicked out of Congress. He had no support as he was very vocal about things and made a lot of Congress-vermin mad.)
I think its hilarious.
And I'm not on LSD.
*gasp*
Molon,
Yes, I well remember Traficant. He was one of my favorite Democrats. Actually he was an Independent, better description would be a "Maverick". He didn't take sides, he took a position. I wish more of our so called "representatives" would try that approach. He's in prison for bribery among other things. I, too, believe he was probably railroaded, by the Republicans because he was a Democrat and by the Democrats because he voted more with the Republicans.
Actually Traficant and I borrowed the phrase "Beam me up, Scotty" from the 60's TV show "Star Trek". Captain Kirk was requesting that Engineer Scott transport him from where ever he was back to the Enterprise. I also don't think it was ever phrased that way on the show but there were several close variations. I believe there was a bumper sticker way back when that refered to it also. I had forgotten that Traficant often used that phrase after his frequent rants in Congress. It means "Get me outta here!" And they did! And No, I'm not a Trekie.
As for Greengirl44, if you think Crafton's blog is "hilarious," you would be better off if you WERE on LSD!
By the way, Molon, I do enjoy your responses to the Banner blogs. Whether I agree with you or not, your well thought out opinions are refreshing....