My Identity Crisis

I realized just recently how difficult it can be to prove who you are.

I got a letter from the governor a while back telling me that the names on my driver's license and my Social Security card didn't match, and that if I didn't remedy that situation in short order my license would be suspended.

I was married in 2001, but used my maiden name professionally for many years. I have always filed my taxes under my maiden name. So I never thought I needed to change my Social Security card ... not that I really had one anyway. My mom has a copy of the card in her lockbox, but I lost my Social Security card in the early 1990s - and never replaced it.

I forgot all about that letter from the governor until February, when my husband and I had to renew our license plates. I had moved in January, so I figured I would change the address on my license when we went in to take care of the plates.

I couldn't do that, they told me, because of the license/Social Security number thing. I had to go to the Social Security office and get that changed first.

A couple of weeks later, I went to the Social Security office, only to be told I couldn't change the name on my card because I only had my marriage certificate and not a certified copy of my marriage license (a certified copy has one's date of birth on it). So I had to submit a written request to the clerk of courts in Steuben County for that.

For whatever reason, I put off doing that. I got busy with other things and it just slipped my mind, I guess.

When I started working at the Banner in April, our business manager said she needed to see my original Social Security card or an original copy of my birth certificate. I used my birth certificate as ID to start my last two jobs (I've had three jobs in the last 11 years ... one for 10 years, one for seven months and now this one), and figured I'd use it at the Banner too.

Wrong! Somehow, in the moving and job changes, I'd lost the birth certificate (again, my mom has a copy in the lockbox, but no original).

I figured it would be quicker to get a copy of the birth certificate than to get a replacement Social Security card. So I went to the New Jersey Department of Vital Statistics Web site to see about getting a copy of my birth certificate.

I discovered there was a way to express order it online. I filled out all the applications, and when I was done I was instructed to make a copy of my driver's license and fax it over.

Thing was, if the address on my license didn't match the mailing address I provided, they couldn't process my order.

Oy!

I canceled that order, and, before I could put it off, wrote the letter to the Steuben County clerk. I put my $4 for two copies of my marriage license in the envelope and mailed it ... quickly.

The copies arrived three days later. The very next day, I went to the Social Security office.

The lady at the desk told me she couldn't accept my name change document because it had to show either my parents' names or my date of birth.

Lucky thing I saw my birthdate was on the document. "Well," the lady said. "Good thing you're paying attention. I glanced right over it."

Yeah.

I got a receipt from her and a letter stating my Social Security number was, in fact, mine. I gave it to the business manager, along with a promise that I would bring in my actual card when I get it in two weeks.

If I get it. Seems if there's any question at all about where they're mailing the card, it will go back to the main Social Security office and be shredded. I'm moving in a couple of weeks, and they won't forward the card ... so I'm hoping against hope it comes before I leave.

Should I receive the card, I will then be able to get my license changed. Once I do that, I will order a couple of copies of my birth certificate (one for me and one for Mom's lock box).I should then have every possible thing I would need to prove I am who I say I am.

On the one hand, it gives me a sense of security that it takes so much proof to get new copies of identifying documents. On the other hand, it's been a frustrating couple of months.

After all, I told our business manager ... if I was going to pretend to be someone, why in the world would it be me?