This is me with Emily, who has been my best girlfriend since 1978.

We don't have a Christmas party here at the Banner.

Because everyone is so busy between Thanksgiving and Christmas, our company treats us to a get-together in January so that more people will be able to make it. This year, we got to have dinner and go bowling, followed by snacks and games at our publisher's house. The festivities took place this past weekend.

At the bowling alley, I got to talking to my sports editor's wife Tara. We talked about how once you have a job, a house, a husband and kids, you have less and less time for your girlfriends.

My very best friend lives 275 miles away, so of course I can't see her as often as I'd like (we do talk on the phone at least every other day, and typically we have at least one phone conversation per week that lasts a minimum of 90 minutes). But I've made a good friend here, and we have been trying to plan a girl's night for months.

Seriously, months. But things keep getting in the way ... usually things like driving our kids here there or the other place or something else family-related.

I was telling Tara how between my job, church and other commitments, I feel like any spare moment I have has to be spent with my husband and son. If I have free time and I'm not with them, I end up on this huge shame spiral and think I'm the worst wife and mother on the planet.

But it's funny ... I see this friend I've made, Chris, for short periods of time a few days a week, as she's my son's day care provider. When I talk to her for five minutes, I feel good. It's nice to talk about girl stuff, if only for a short time. I go home to my boys happy.

So doesn't it make sense that spending an entire evening with Chris would do something really good for my psyche?

My mom is in her early 60s. A few years ago, she joined one of those Red Hat groups, and eventually she and about four other women splintered off and formed their own "club" of sorts. They've traveled to Chicago by train together. They've seen plays. A couple of months ago, they all flew to Florida to spend a long weekend at a timeshare one of them has.

They drink a lot of margaritas, they talk, they laugh.

And my mom comes back home to my stepfather refreshed and happy.

My mom told me that no matter how old you get, you need to make time for your girlfriends.

I didn't used to think so, but I'm beginning to realize my mom is pretty wise. The older I get, the smarter she gets.

In 2009, I will make time for my girlfriends.