There Are Times When People Can't Just Shake it Off

My husband and I dropped our son off with his grandparents this past weekend. He's spending half of his spring break with my mom and stepdad in southern Michigan, and on Wednesday they will meet Andy's parents somewhere, exchange custody, and Will will spend the last half of his vacation in Fort Wayne with my in-laws.

When you do a lot of riding on the highway, there isn't much to see besides billboards. One that caught my eye on this trip was advertising mental illness awareness. It said, "No one ever says, 'Snap out if it ... it's just diabetes.'"

I thought that was a really, really powerful message.

My dad was a recovering alcoholic. He was nearly 40 years sober when he died in 2001, so I never knew him when he was drinking. But he was a sponsor, and I can remember phone calls from people from the program coming in at all hours of the day and night. From an early age, my father made me understand that these people who called our house couldn't just stop drinking. They were sick. Their bodies and minds were consumed with the disease of alcoholism.

Over the years, I've met a lot of people. I've met alcoholics and drug addicts. I've met people who suffer from a variety of mental illnesses including post traumatic stress disorder, manic depression, panic disorder and seasonal depression.

In talking to these people, I've sometimes been incredibly saddened by how hopeless they feel. One man described his depression as "being trapped in my own head." There is no getting away from it.

Many times, people become addicted to alcohol or drugs because they want to self-medicate. Mental illness is just so debilitating they are willing to do anything to make it better, but when they try to do it with substances they ultimately end up making things a whole lot worse.

I can't decide which is more sad, though -- the heartbreaking struggles of people who are caught in the clutches of mental illness or addiction or the complete lack of understanding of the subjects and the complete lack of compassion people have for those who suffer because of them.

"Just stop drinking." I have heard more than one person say that's how alcoholics need to deal with their problems.

That's great advice. But really, if that worked, don't you think they probably would have done it before they lost their jobs, homes and families?

My best friend dated a man for a long while who was bright, handsome, funny, and probably one of the most caring, compassionate people I'd ever met.

Unfortunately, he was born addicted to heroin. After years of struggling and doing a long jail stint because of drugs, he got clean, which is when my friend met him.

But he is an addict. The old friends started coming back around. The old demons surfaced, and he ended up back on the street.

My friend did a lot of research. She couldn't understand why this man, once he had tasted sober life and knew what he could accomplish, would go back to using.

Addiction and mental illnesses are not weaknesses. They are real diseases, and they require real care and real aftercare. There is an unfair stigma attached to them, even though they can be just as terminal as cancer.

And just as hard to beat.

I applaud those who are dealing with these horrible diseases and conditions. Please know there is help out there. I have worked a lot with Mental Health America of Putnam County since I have been here, and they are an amazing resource.

If you need help, or think you do, call 653-3310 and they will point you in the right direction.

And for those of you who aren't touched by mental illness or addiction, exercise compassion. Remember that those who are struggling didn't ask to be in those positions. As with anything, the best thing to do is simply be kind.