Finding a Place for the Birthday Flowers

My best southern friends sent me flowers to wish me a happy birthday. Since they were delivered on Friday, I decided to take them home to enjoy. The flaw in my plan was my cat.

I wasn't the only one trying to enjoy the flowers -- Mr. Big was too. My idea of enjoying the birthday flowers is to look at them. Big's idea of enjoyment is to eat them.

The flowers started on the kitchen table. Sitting on the couch Friday night, I glanced into the kitchen only to notice my flowers had grown a yellow and white striped tail. "Hmmm," I thought. I slowly started to get up from the couch, when Big noticed me. He leaped from the table to the floor taking the birthday flowers with him.

"NO!" I screamed after hearing water splashing on the floor. I sprung from the living room to the kitchen and picked up the spilled flowers. Big, of course, was nowhere to be found.

"I will find you," I said to him wherever he was hiding. "You will end up in your cage for the night," I continued.

I cleaned up the mess and added more water to the vase. As I was returning the birthday flowers to the table, Big returned to the scene of the crime. I let him sniff around a little before pouncing on him.

"I got you," I said as he tried to wiggle away.

Big went to bed early that night and clearly had no idea why.

The next day, with my birthday flowers on the coffee table where I could keep a better eye on them, the war continued. After catching Big trying to eat the flower petals, I banned him from the table altogether.

So he decided to sit on the floor in front of the flowers and stare at them with his tail wagging 90 m.p.h. Then, he would gradually inch towards the table and lift one paw onto the edge.

"Big, no!" I would say with a snap of my fingers.

He would go back to sitting and starring and trying all over again to get to the delectable flower petals.

I did eventually have to leave the apartment, so to protect my birthday flowers I put them in the bathroom with the door closed.

"Now try and eat them," I said to Big as I left to run errands.