Sam the black Lab was sitting next to me on the sofa when ABC News reported that President-elect Barack Obama and his family had narrowed their choice for a White House dog to two breeds -- a Labradoodle or a Portuguese water hound.

Sam bristled at the sight of the Labradoodle.

Woof, woof. Ruff, woof, grrrrrrrr.

I agree, Sam. Mixing a Labrador retriever and a Poodle was a goofy idea.

Ruff, ruff, wooof?

I don't know. I never heard of a Portuguese water hound.

Woof, ruff, ruff, arf?

No, the Obamas couldn't just get a Lab like you, Sam. One of their daughters has allergies and Labs shed a lot. That's why you have a blanket on your side of the sofa.

Arf, arf, wooof, ruff, ruff?

Those guys in the dark sunglasses? They're Secret Service agents assigned to protect the President-elect and his family. They have dogs -- Labs like you, Sam, and German shepherds -- who help them patrol the grounds and sniff for anything suspicious.

Woof! Arf, woof, arf?

No, Secret Service dogs don't get to wear sunglasses.

Woof, ruff, arf, arf, ruff.

Yes, I know you think they'd look cool.

Ruff, arf, arf, woof?

I don't know which dog the President-elect will choose, but I'm sure they'll become best friends, just like you and I.

Woof, woof, arf?

Yes, I think the president will scratch behind his dog's ears. I know you like that a lot.

Ruff, ruff, arf, woof, woof.

That's right. The president's awesome burden as the leader of the free world will be lightened if he will spend time talking to his dog. We know how special that bond is, don't we?

Woof, arf, ruff?

No, Sam, I'm not going to buy you sunglasses.