The Princess of Lamballe Marie Louise Thérèse of Savoy in 1776, by Antoine-François Callet. Now that's big hair. (Courtesy of Wikipedia Commons).
Hello, friends! Today we’re going to do something new and different. Gentlemen are welcome, but this one is mostly for the ladies.
There’s a very good reason why I’ve never written a beauty blog. My sense of style is, shall we say, more sense than style. But I still believe that appearance and making yourself presentable are important, and there are some points on which I’m downright particular.
I had more hair when I was younger, but I’ve been told I still have a pretty thick head of it. It is naturally straight, and I’ve always liked it long because it always looks good down, and after a certain length it’s easier to work with because there’s more of it.
Or at least it would be, if I had any idea what or how to do with it.
For years my best effort was a ponytail, and then I graduated to the half back. Two “plaits,” as my great-grandma called them, were the going style for years, and then I got a bit creative with twists and buns. At 24 I make out all right, but I still can’t straigten my own hair or really do much of anything.
But I can tell you something that no magazine ever could or would: How to style your hair with the windows down.
You just realized this is going to be interesting, didn’t ya?
Probably because of some defect in my styling methods, I have always been blessed with what I like to call “sprigs,” those short hairs around your face that don’t stay in any style you put them. Mine are long enough to reach my chin, and thick enough to be used for framing my face without all the fuss of a haircut to make them that way.
Having a dislike for air conditioning, over the years I have developed a feel for just how far down my windows need to be and at what speed I need to be going to produce the proper amount of face-framage via vehicular wind power.
And today, I’m going to share that with you all.
First, this will all depend on whether you even have legal occasion to be going these speeds. I don’t want to hear of you all zipping around the place every morning because I shared this with you.
Because “I’m sorry, officer; I’m styling my hair,” isn’t going to fly, and tickets are bound to put a damper on any style you’re going for (unless you want to curl your hair, and even then there’s better ways to go about getting paper).
And I’m fairly certain I would receive at least a strong talking-to.
So none of that, ladies. Consider yourselves disclaimed.
Now, the general rule of this science is that the slower you and the wind outside are going, the farther down your windows will need to be.
Best-case scenario is no wind at 50 mph with the front driver and passenger windows half down. This produces a good face frame in about 15 minutes.
At less than 50 mph with no wind, these windows will need to be three-quarters down to do the same. If there is wind, you can leave the windows at half down.
At 60 mph or more, the windows need only be a quarter down. At 60 mph or more with wind, just a crack will do.
For minute adjustments, use the back two windows in combination with the front two. For example, if you have the front two a quarter down but want just a touch more movement, open the back passenger side window a crack.
The driver’s window can only be so far down and you going so fast before it starts to work more on one side than the other, so using the back two windows is good for this problem as well.
You should also remember that wind movement is counterintuitive. The side of whatever window you open will affect the opposite side of your head (i.e. a rear passeger side window will work on the left side of your up-do).
For big volume with gentle results, close both front windows and open the back two a quarter or half.
After the drive, your hair should only need to be slightly adjusted into place. If it’s frizzed or just lacks definition, you might twirl the pieces around your finger and pull down hard.
I’m sure some of you feel that this would be a disaster, and to be honest I can’t speak to how well it would work on curly hair, but for those of you with straight hair with a mind of it’s own, a little chaos can go a long way toward that tossed voluminous look.
And you heard it all right here, on “Bits and Pieces.”
Let’s not do that again for a while, okay?