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What's all the royal fuss?

Posted Tuesday, April 26, 2011, at 5:13 PM

Unless you've been living under that proverbial rock somewhere, you know there is a royal wedding scheduled for this Friday.

We know it must be a big deal because all the TV programs that normally fixate on Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan will be there live in jolly, old England, televising the nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Coverage begins about 3 a.m., or whenever the last Stanley Cup hockey game of the night ends (check local listings).

The night before the wedding, every husband in America will remind his wife not to wake him for this momentous event. Every wife will rationalize that we're all fools and that the royal wedding is infinitely more important than any Super Bowl (countdown to the Indianapolis event, by the way, has now reached 284 days).

And by the time Prince William and Kate tie the knot, American TV viewers will have been subjected to more British royalty and bad teeth than Monty Python could spoof in a trilogy of trilogies.

Honestly, I wouldn't know King George from Curious George. Couldn't tell Henry VIII from O. Henry or Oh Henry! And wouldn't know Prince Harry from Harry Potter.

Seriously, I must have been out sick the day they covered British royalty in my school. And I have always feared that the day I finally get on "Jeopardy!" the categories would include British Monarchs, Kings and their Queens and Something to Do About Nothing but Shakespeare.

I mean, I just don't understand all the royal fuss.

Didn't our ancestors set out across the deep, dark Atlantic in Mayflower vans (no, wait, that was the Colts) to get away from these people?

Didn't we wage an heroic war of independence to put King George et al behind us?

Didn't we make it a point that George Washington and all his successors never be kings but American presidents instead?

Don't we celebrate the Fourth of July each year as Independence Day in order to remember what we fought for and won?

Then why do we care so much about the royal wedding?

Heck, you can't even say you're watching it for the commercials. It's more like going to the Kentucky Derby just to check out the big hats.

Personally, I hold out hope William gets cold feet and runs off to meet Charlie Sheen in the nearest pub.

At least then we could all ponder something important -- like whether they're drinking Guinness or Newcastle.


Comments
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The national media and some local tv stations really care. I can't see a farmer in Putnam County really caring what Kate's dress will look like or what or what celebrities and famous people are there. I'm sure the Weather Channel will have better programming than the other stations.

-- Posted by purple_heat on Thu, Apr 28, 2011, at 8:08 PM

i also recall us sending a nuclear bomb over to Japan and now we are sending all the help we can over there to help them recover. it doesn't matter what happened in the past. life is happening no and we should leave the past in the past. i cannot wait to get home and watch the wedding

-- Posted by northputnamcougars! on Fri, Apr 29, 2011, at 3:16 PM

Keep the good stuff coming, Mr. Bernsee. By the way, have you noticed that there seems to be an inverse correlation between interest in the Royals and the ability to spell and punctuate?

-- Posted by Balding Eagle on Fri, Apr 29, 2011, at 7:53 PM

We rebuilt Japan after we dropped the bomb back in 1945 also.

-- Posted by purple_heat on Sat, Apr 30, 2011, at 4:54 PM

As a woman, it goes back to the fantasy of Prince and Princesses. It never goes away. It's still like a fairytale (a Disney movie,perhaps). It was a beautiful wedding and History In The Making. Hopefully, this marriage will last. Thank goodness, they aren't fuddy duddys. The spell has been broken! Don't knock it, at least it took our minds off of our worries and world affairs for a day. I loved it!

-- Posted by Grandma10 on Mon, May 2, 2011, at 12:23 AM


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A native of Chicago and a graduate of the University of Missouri, Eric Bernsee has enjoyed residing in Greencastle for more than 25 years. Years of consuming McDonald's iced teas, Dairy Castle flurries and Marvin's GCBs have helped make him the man he is today.
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