I'm proud to say I have never used a dating site.
This is especially good when you consider I've been married for nearly six years and in a relationship with my wife for more than seven.
Even so, I don't think I ever would have been the dating site kind. I think they were probably in their infancy way back in 2005, but I wasn't looking to become a client.
I was more the "everything in its time" kind of single guy.
My disinterest in this sort of thing (coupled with the ring on my finger) has never stopped spammers from sending me the "Meet singles in your area" emails.
No trouble at all. I just laugh and drag them to the trash.
At 3:16 p.m. this afternoon, though, I received an especially troubling message of this sort. It was from the good people at a site called OurTime.
"Meet local singles over 50 at OurTime.com See photos email@example.com."
Are you kidding me?
What exactly about my email address and whatever other information these people have about me (clearly not my age) indicates that I'm over 50?
This is worse than the time that a new reporter thought I looked like I was 40 when I was actually 31.
To be exact, I won't be eligible to join the good folks at OurTime for another 17 years and 5 months. And even when I meet those requirements, I plan to have recently celebrated my 23rd wedding anniversary.
So thanks, dating site people, but no thanks.
As if I needed more fuel for the fire, shortly before I went to the Internet to post this blog, I received an email with the subject "FW: Senior Pool Party + Please Share."
While this title raises questions for me about suspect use of the addition symbol, that's really not the point right now.
Shortly before blowing my top over yet another message trying to accelerate my aging process, I decided to look closer.
The message was from Tammy Amor of the Chamber of commerce. she was simply forwarding a message for the good people at The Waters of Greencastle. It appears they are hosting a Senior Pool Party at the Greencastle Aquatic Center from 5-8 p.m.
The event is for people age 55 and older and will include barbecuing, playing games and several raffles.
Unfortunately, I'm only 32 and I'll probably be busy at the 4-H Fair.
But if you are 55 or older, by all means, go enjoy the pool party.