Body language

Back in my "other life" as a marketing manager I attended seminars and understood the importance of body language in meetings. Since leaving that world behind, I haven't paid as much attention to what my body language is saying.

What I had learned all came rushing back at me a week or so ago while covering a Saturday evening political event.

I was waiting for the speakers to get started and had learned back in my chair with my arms crossed and stretched my legs out.

Crossing my arms is an old habit that I have gotten back into because it is comfortable. I once had a hairline fracture on my collarbone and it feels good sometimes not to hang my arms down.

At the same time, I have a foot problem that impacts my knees and occasionally I like to stretch my legs out. It never crossed my mind that my body language was giving a negative message.

Someone there came over and teased me about my posture and being bored. I admit I was bored (it was 8 p.m. on a Saturday night at a political dinner and I am very "a" political), but only because the program had not started.

I noticed it again at a breakfast meeting I attended. The person I was sitting next to knew my son as our kids were in the same class and asked me about his Alaska adventures.

Well anyone who knows me at all knows I love to discuss my son and his experiences. I launched into my usual stories and happened to look up and see another person that I run into quite frequently and who has heard my son stories fairly often. Not because I try to bore her but because someone around us usually asks me about my son.

As I glanced up, I saw her shift her eyes upward in what is known as an "eye shrug." According to the Kinesics experts this symbolizes frustration and boredom.

I tried to make a quick joke about this poor person having heard my stories and she was gracious. But, I saw it and was reminded of my own body language.

It's interesting what how you use your eyes, face, head, arms, hands and feet can say. Here are some of the things experts purport about body language and what it means: Openness of the arms or legs serves as an important gauge of liking or caring. Normally, people maintain closed postures (arms folded and legs crossed) when discoursing with people they dislike.

Walking briskly and standing erect means you have confidence.

Standing with your hands on your hips can portray aggression or readiness.

Walking with your hands in your pockets and shoulders hunched means you are dejected.

Sitting with your legs crossed slightly kicking your foot symbolizes boredom. Sitting with your legs apart means you are open and relaxed. (Not many women adopt this pose because we were taught it was not ladylike).

A hand to cheek gesture symbolizes evaluation or thinking. Slightly touching or rubbing your nose means rejection, doubt or lying. Rubbing your eyes represents doubt and disbelief.

Crossing your ankles means you are apprehensive. Resting your head in your hands with your eyes downcast projects boredom. Rubbing your hands together generally means anticipation. Sitting with your hands clasped behind your head with your legs crossed means you are feeling confident or superior.

Tapping or drumming your fingers represents impatience. Patting or fondling your hair means you have a lack of self-confidence or are insecure. Stroking your chin represents that you are trying to make a decision. Looking down with your face turned away represents disbelief. Pulling or tugging at our ear represents indecision. If you prolong tilting your head you are once again bored.

The old eye shrug signals frustration or boredom. A fixed smile that appears quickly and stays longer than natural and does not extend to your eyes indicates displeasure or forced agreement of some sort.

Really, I'm not making this stuff up!

As to my own apparently bad habit of crossing my arms--crossed arms represents a protective or separating barrier. This can be due to various causes, ranging from severe animosity or concern to mild boredom or being too tired to be interested and attentive. People also cross arms when they are feeling cold.

If you see me with my arms crossed over my chest at some meeting or function, please don't take it personally; it's just a habit. And, I won't take it wrong if I see you give me an eye shrug when I brag about my son.