Of course, I would always have been happy for the two of them, but now that Nicole and I are awaiting the birth of our first child, it's more of a smile and a knowing "Welcome."
Really? What do I really know? It's not like I've raised three or four kids. I haven't even seen the birth of the first one.
At the same time, based on due dates, I'm about three months ahead of him in this process. Even a week or two can bring big changes in how you are thinking and feeling. Is he going through the same things I was three months ago or perhaps back in December when we made our announcement to everyone?
I remember when we got that first positive test. It was our second wedding anniversary. Nicole considered it the best anniversary gift she could have gotten. I wasn't so sure. I understood it was what we wanted, but it had only been hypothetical before.
Of course, I didn't want to share this with anyone. I figured I had nine months to get my head around the idea. I'd get there.
As it turned out, though, I only needed a few weeks. It was that very first ultrasound -- the one where it doesn't really look like a baby, but you take the doctor's word for it. I could tell there was life in there, and I was still scared but also amazed, overwhelmed, humbled.
Mostly, I was happy.
Since then, it's just kind of grown. Each new doctor's appointment brings some new discovery.
Listen to that heartbeat!
It's a boy!
He looks to be very healthy.
He has big feet.
Is my friend going through the same things I was? Did he feel more ready than I did at the beginning? Or is he still in full-on freak-out mode?
The whole process has also made me appreciate how tough it must be for single mothers to go through this alone because the most important part of all of this has been Nicole. She seems to be ready for each new step before I am, and then I come along slowly.
I wasn't ready to start rearranging the house, but now as I look at the skeleton of a nursery we have, it makes me so happy.
I didn't want to start buying baby clothes, but I love looking through the drawers that are already full of our little man's stuff.
Most of all, it's just nice to have someone to talk to through it all. I know we both have our share of uncertainty. There's health and finances and a thousand little things to worry about. How does someone go through this without having someone else? You need someone there to say, "It'll be OK. We'll figure it out."
And isn't way better to be overcome with joy when someone else is too?