Stop all that hugging, we're on deadline

April just seems to ooze with special weeks and quirky days as well as being a special month of noble observances.

We all know by now -- thanks to the guys in teal ties and the girls in their mini-pearls -- that it's Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

Thanks to the pinwheels, spinning their little heads off in the high winds recently on the courthouse lawn, we're told April is Child Abuse Prevention Month.

And if you read Greencastle Assistant Police Chief Brian Hopkins' letter elsewhere on this page, you'll learn it's National 911 Education Month and this week is National Public Safety Telecommunications/911 Dispatchers Week.

If that's not enough, April is also Animal Cruelty Prevention Month, Jazz Appreciation Month, National Poetry Month, Confederate U.S. History Month and Financial Literacy Month (thanks, IRS, I know I owe ya).

The special days in April are almost insane. For example, April 7 was National Beer Day, although for some reason we have to wait until April 26 for National Pretzel Day. Among other April highlights, it's National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day on April 12, National Peach Cobbler Day on April 13, and a personal favorite, National Ex-Spouse Day, on April 14.

Not unexpectedly, on April 15 it's National Tax Day but oddly enough also National Rubber Eraser Day (no doubt brought to you by those pencil pushers at the IRS).

National Bat Appreciation Day comes home to roost April 17, and I know a few folks who won't be celebrating it.

April 19 brings National Garlic Day (I'm thinking Marvin's should have some sort of special), while on April 29 it's both National Shrimp Day and National Zipper Day (insert own joke here).

The month closes April 30 with National Bugs Bunny Day, National Kiss of Hope Day and -- to come full circle from April Fool's Day -- National Honesty Day.

But one day earlier this week caught me off-guard after being invited to a dinner on National Chicken Cordon Bleu Day, which appropriately enough was on the menu that night along with some splendid beverages.

Unbeknownst to me, that very day (April 4) is also observed as National Hug a Newsperson Day, coinciding oddly enough with National Tell a Lie Day (wouldn't you think that would be April Fool's Day?).

Not only had I never heard of National Hug a Newsperson Day but I'm not sure I've ever seen a newsperson I've really wanted to hug. OK, full disclosure, maybe Katie Couric and, of course, that dark-haired beauty who sometimes covers the news for WREB.

But put me in a roomful of newspeople and I'm probably going to go all Jim Valvano (think 1983 NCAA championship game), running around in vain, searching for that right someone to hug.

So suddenly I am in a roomful of people. And while being the only newsperson there, learn it's indeed National Hug a Newsperson Day. I'm thinking, are you sure it's not National Slug a Newsperson Day? Because I'm all in on that with a few of those TV news readers.

But instead I'm suddenly getting hugs from all sides. Janice and Angie and Terri and Shari and more. It's like I'm channeling Lou Bega and "Mambo No. 5."

Repeat every 15 minutes, thank you.

What's that old lyric? "We all need a hug in the morning and one at the end of the day. As many as possible squeezed in between to keep life's troubles at bay."

Hugs of appreciation? Hey, a guy could get used to that.

After all, newspeople aren't used to much positive feedback. We usually just get gruff for something being wrong or printing something someone doesn't agree with.

But that goes with the territory. We're used to that, not so much the hugs.

Besides, things do seem to be looking up. Hey, I found a $20 bill in a puddle at McDonald's the other afternoon.

And now we've learned April 18 is National Newspaper Columnist Day.

Hugs are great. Gifts are optional.