Unfortunately, I can relate
Whoever sewed the letters on the uniform of the San Francisco Giants' Eugenio Velez is probably coming under some serious heat.
That's because Velez was representing the city of San Francisco on Wednesday. According to his jersey, he was a San Francicso Giant.
Read that again.
You would think these sorts of epic failures are rare, but you'd be wrong -- at least in the last two years.
In a game last year, the Nationals took the field as the "Natinals." In a way, that one was fitting. Since they moved from Montreal (Or was it San Juan?), the former Expos have a record of just 343-468.
When Sportscenter anchors called them "Natinals" for the remainder of the season, it was generally in one of those typically bad losses.
It fit in the same way derogatory sports nicknames like "New Orleans 'Aints" and "Portland Jailblazers" had in the past.
If the shoe fits, you know?
It also makes me think about one of my favorite commercials ever. Anybody else remember the Snickers commercial with the old man painting the Chiefs' end zone.
"Hey that's great ... but who are the 'Chefs?'"
"GREAT GOOGILY MOOGILY!!!"
Ah, good times, good times.
And before I poke too much fun at this poor sap who sewed Velez's jersey, I need to remember a page from my past.
It was "a great trajedy."
No, that's not a typo -- at least not this time around.
Several years ago, when I was still the editor of the Fountain County Neighbor and the Review Republican, some waste of flesh decided to burn down the library in Williamsport.
Not only was the library a great loss to the community, it was a beautiful building that was less than five years old.
Anyway, I wrote a long, angry column in the following week's paper about what a great loss to the community it was, what a piece of crap the person who did it was and what stern consequences he or she would face.
(I regret to say this jerk has never been caught. There were no consequences, I suppose.)
Over and over, I used the word tragedy in the column. The only problem was, I spelled it with a "J" instead of a "G."
Why did I do this? Blind anger I suppose -- and a serious lack of proofreading.
I am a college-educated person.
I am usually a good speller.
I was even on the Spell Bowl team at one point in high school.
(OK, everybody, point and laugh at the dork. For the sake of full disclosure, I also went to yearbook camp -- twice. And I was on the math team.)
I felt about two inches tall when I discovered the mistake. The big problem was, though, I didn't discover it until it was there in cold, black and white for thousands of people to read and wonder what kind of idiot was running the local paper.
So I'm not going to say anything derogatory at all about the guy who messed up the Velez Jersey. I'll only say, hang in there, buddy. We all mess up.
When most people make this kind of mistake, a few people in the office notice. At worst, it might be dozens.
When I make this kind of mistake, thousands of people notice. It's pretty embarassing until I think about your plight.
When you committed your typo, millions of people noticed. That hurts. I tip my cap to you and say, "Get it the next time."
At least I hope there is a next time.
Jared Jernagan is the assistant editor of the Banner Graphic. He can be reached at email@example.com.