Opinion

Temptation at hand? You said a mouthful

Friday, September 14, 2012

"Lead me not into temptation," some wag once said, because "I can find the way myself."

Actress Mae West, meanwhile, is credited with offering, "I generally avoid temptation ... unless I can't resist it."

And the great Oscar Wilde once noted, "I can resist anything -- except temptation."

Temptation, yeah, that's a tough one all right. And when you're perpetually trying to watch your weight like I am, temptation comes at you from all corners.

For example, the City Council is passing around special Japanese cigar-shaped cookies at its meeting. I somehow resist but get called out by the resident chowhound for letting the box linger on my little desk when I choose to ignore its presence.

The advertising department sets new sales records for a Banner Graphic special section, celebrating with a big box of doughnuts on the other side of the room. Mmmm, doughnuts ... cue Homer Simpson impression. Diet ... doh!

And now the Taste of Putnam County and its many delicacies is staring me smack in the face come Saturday. I have to go cover it and take photos for the paper. A guy has to eat ...

Temptation, yeah, it's stalking me for sure.

But I've been good. Very good. Honest. Lost a few pounds recently. Could stand to lose several more.

Then a press release comes across my desk. Seems M&Ms are now available in white chocolate candy corn.

Oh man, I love M&Ms. And I love candy corn. Can't wait each fall for the Halloween candy to come out so we can mix a batch of candy corn and peanuts together. Good stuff.

But M&Ms and candy corn? A match made in heaven. Temptation by the handful.

Not six hours goes by and I hear that's not the newest taste sensation. Apparently, Oreo cookies now come with candy corn filling (pumpkin, too).

I'm thinking, it just doesn't get any better than this.

The gods of temptation are really out to get me. For these are a few of my favorite things.

What'll they do next, throw the whole mess into a Dairy Queen Blizzard and just send my diet crashing to earth in flames?

Well, darn close.

While not a candy corn M&M offering (sigh), the good people at Dairy Queen have created a "spooktacular" (their word, not mine) new Blizzard for October -- the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard.

I'm assuming it comes complete with a heaping mound of whipped topping. And here's hoping Dairy Castle steals the recipe.

Oh, the temptation of it all ...

Yea, lead me not into temptation all right, but deliver me from the evil ice cream store and candy counter. Please.

Talk about your temptation of biblical proportions ...