Missing loved ones and coping with grief this holiday season

As you age, you grow wiser to protecting yourself, and wiser with learning how the world works. But, as you grow older, your family and friends do too, and you begin to lose friends you never thought you would be without. And that is one of the hardest situations anyone must go through, especially when you are beginning to feel alone.

Something about the holidays reminds us of this. It could be reminiscing over a holiday dinner when you were a child, your parents and siblings surrounding you, or the blast of cold air on a January morning, reminding you of the many times you and your best friend spent went sledding for hours. The holiday season reminds almost everyone of someone they have loved and lost. A new statistic shows that almost one in 10 senior citizens has lost a sibling in the last year.

For yourself: If you feel yourself slowly becoming more drained as you think of your friends that are no longer with you, be kind to yourself. Remember their spirit. It’s all right to think of them, even if it makes you unhappy. You could also continue a tradition you shared. It can be easier said than done, but by focusing on the gift of their life and how thankful you are for the memories with them, you focus less on the loss.

Grief counselors agree that repressing the event of losing a loved one will only cause more problems down the road. Never forget that it is normal to grieve, it is OK to cry, it is normal to feel down, it is OK to feel nothing, and it is perfectly fine to be angry. Don’t let yourself feel any guilt for celebrating the holiday season.

For others: Each year, we may overlook the fact that this could be someone’s first holiday without a loved one by their side. As awkward as you may feel, invite this person over for a cup of hot chocolate or if you go to church, invite them to a Christmas Eve Service. Sometimes people think they may want space, and the person themselves might even think that. The truth is, getting out and being around those who care might be just what your friend needs.

Many agree that even if they say no thank you to the first few offers, checking up with them makes them feel less alone. If you notice them feeling out of place, talk to them. If they’re not acting their jolly self they usually are during the Holidays, reach out to them. Even just a phone call can help.

For all: Make sure to take care of yourself — eat well, get enough sleep, exercise and don’t overdo it at holiday parties. Don’t let yourself be isolated, but know when to set your own personal boundaries. Accept help from those around you.

If you are feeling particularly anxious or depressed, feel free to take a screening through our local web page at www.mhaopc.org. For help locating a mental health professional in our area, contact Mental Health America of Putnam County at info@mhaopc.org or 653-3310. In addition to this, the Crisis Text Line is available 24/7 by texting MHA to 741-741.

At Mental Health America of Putnam County, we wish you the best of holidays as we venture into the New Year of 2020.