Stigma of addiction

Many people believe that addiction is a moral failing and that people with substance use disorders choose to continue using drugs. Unlike people with other chronic health conditions, those in recovery from addiction are blamed for their problems. More than 70,200 Americans died from drug overdoses in 2017, including illicit drugs and prescription opioids — a twofold increase in a decade.

What if I told you that you create stigma in the lives of others, in your family and in your community? What is stigma? It’s a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person. It’s a judgement from someone that is uneducated about cultures, circumstances or illness.

We all do it at times regarding others or someone in our lives, but how do we stop judging, how do we stop the stigma or disgrace associated with a particular circumstance?

My name is Sheila Holloway. I am the founder of Putnam County Recovery Coalition (PCRC). I am a facilitator for Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL), and I was chosen as the Difference Maker for 2019 in Putnam County.

Four years ago, I didn’t even know what the word stigma meant. Four years ago, my life was changed dramatically when I found out my child was using drugs.

It’s strange how we go through things that change us, define us and shape who we are. I look back at some of the things that I have been through throughout my life and seems as if this is where God was leading me all along. Never in a million years would I have thought that I could be so passionate about helping others with addiction.

I didn’t always feel this way. I went through a period when I was judgmental, critical and also stigmatized addiction. It started with my sister. I remember the feeling so well. I was so disappointed, so angry and disapproving, even with my parents, because they were allowing her to take advantage of them. My sister would borrow money and never pay it back, would give them this sad story about why she needed it or why she couldn’t go to work or pay her bills and they would believe everything she said, when I could see right through her lies.

I told myself that I would never go down that road with my kids. Boy, was I blindsided when I found out that my child was doing drugs. That is by far one of the worst things that a parent can go through with their child.

I went from a mother who thought I had everything under control with my children, to a very quiet, embarrassed, scared mother that was in denial much of the time and I was afraid to talk about it with anyone. What would people think about me as a parent, or what would they say about my child? I couldn’t tell anyone about this.

I held it in for as long as I could. I finally broke down at work one day to a friend of mine only to find out that she was going through the same thing with her son. I was shocked, but to have someone who understood that I could talk to about this issue made things seem a little more hopeful.

She told me about an online group called The Addict’s Mom. I couldn’t believe it when I saw all the parents and loved ones worldwide on this group. I didn’t feel like I was alone. I had hope and I started reaching out to others in the group and found people here in Indiana but in different counties.

I attended my first addiction-related event in September 2015 on the circle in downtown Indy. It was called the Lights of Hope. It was very inspirational and touching.

From there, I started researching, educating myself and praying a lot. I wanted to help others and share what I had learned. However, I was this shy, quiet person that didn’t know how to talk to a stranger, how to start a conversation or even communicate to a group of people. I was an introvert, yet another stigma word.

It didn’t take God long to push me out there to help others. I fought Him multiple times because that was way out of my comfort zone but, as you can tell, He won the battle and now you can’t shut me up when I speak on the subject of addiction.

I think what makes my passion thrive is just knowing what I know now could have helped me when I didn’t know anything. I hope I can help others not fall as hard as I did when I was going through it with my child. I found a motivation for myself that helps me.

When thinking about some of my own issues like food, shopping and smoking cigarettes, those are some hard addictions I had and still have, and I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to stop an addiction with something as strong as heroine or meth.

But people do recover and inspire others, including myself, by getting up in front of a group of strangers to tell their darkest struggles. I mean, I struggle to speak in front of a group of people just to introduce them. To see those who are recovering from their battle with addiction stand up in front of strangers and share their stories about how they have done some pretty awful things to their loved ones, spent time in jail, etc. it is a very brave move to put themselves out there like that. It amazes me.

So for the past three years, I have met a lot of people, I have held multiple events and educational classes and I am very happy to say that in May of 2019, we were blessed to be taken under the umbrella of Family Support Services as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. We are very lucky to have a great group of people on our advisory committee: Executive Director of Family Support Services of West Central Indiana Scott Monnett; Danielle Cummings, Cummins Mental Health; Pat Birkemeier, a concerned community member and CASA volunteer; Executive Director of Mental Health of America Putnam County Karen Martoglio; Lori Mitchell, a mother with experience in the disease of child addiction; Assistant Police Chief Brian Hopkins, Greencastle Police Department; and myself, Sheila Holloway, founder of Putnam County Recovery Coalition (PCRC), and Facilitator for Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL).

I am also the 2019 Difference Maker and an experienced mother, a sibling and family member of those with the disease of addiction.

We ask for your help in stopping the stigma of addiction. We ask for your help getting better resources in Putnam County for men that are homeless, for in-house rehabilitation and sober living. We need help with educating our children on the dangers of drugs, and help with the struggles they are having because of an addicted parent or loved one.

We all have some type of addiction. We all have struggles. We all can use a smile, a kind word or just a hug to help us get through. Let’s be the county and the community that overcomes this stigma of addiction and let it bring us closer.

If you are struggling with an addition or know someone who is, please know that you are not alone and there is hope. PAL, (Parents of Addicted Loved Ones) meets on the first and third Mondays of the month at 6:30 p.m. at Gobin United Methodist Church, 305 Simpson St., Greencastle. We have more educational events coming up soon.

For more information about programs or services call 765-653-4820 or visit www.fsswci.net.

Donations can be made by visiting www.fsswci.net/donate or by mail payable to FSSWCI to 16 S. Jackson St., Greencastle, IN 46135.