Opinion

DAZE WORK: Not exactly the shot heard ’round the world

Monday, April 5, 2021

If you’re of “a certain age,” as they like to say, you undoubtedly carry a roundish scar on your upper arm, a souvenir of a long-ago smallpox vaccination.

While smallpox was listed as officially declared eradicated in 1980, those of us born before 1972 had to endure the family physician poking around under the skin of our upper arm, seemingly scratching it repeatedly in applying the vaccine.

Having trouble sleeping Thursday night, I got caught up in thinking about my sad history with shots and vaccinations -- smallpox, a series of eight daily shots to relieve my raging hay fever, a bunch of scratch tests to determine what I might be allergic to and even a tetanus shot after I put my right arm through the glass of our rear storm door. In turn, those left me with a scar, a fear of needles, a fainting issue and a left arm that felt like a dead fish after the tetanus injection.

So it was important -- no imperative -- that I take advantage of the vaccination station Friday at DePauw University with its one-shot Johnson & Johnson vaccine, thanks to my allergies to penicillin, sulfa drugs, eggs and mustard.

“Mustard,” the young inoculator readying to needle me said, “that’s a new one.”

Yea, I don’t like mustard anyway, so it gives me an excuse to put ketchup on my hotdogs -- not a popular choice in my Chicago hometown.

While it wasn’t exactly the shot heard ‘round the world -- we’ll leave that for Bobby Thomson’s famous playoff home run -- it was more than a shot in the dark as I got my COVID-19 vaccination.

Maybe there was something symbolic about getting vaccinated on Good Friday.

It was a shot in the arm for my health, I’m sure. My sister, a retired nurse, kept on me in recent texts from California. You need the J & J jab (sounds like a rap group or maybe some special sandwich, doesn’t it?) because it has more synthetic ingredients. My ex-wife, an RN now living in Florida, chimed in as well. Remind them you’re allergic to sulfa drugs and penicillin and eggs.

Hey, don’t forget rabbit fur, you wascally wabbit.

Calm after my shot, I spent the obligatory 15 minutes waiting for any ill-effects, staring at the digital clock at the east end of DePauw’s Lilly Center, seated for the duration via the honor system, awaiting for my release.

When it was over I had completely finished up in about 20 minutes, leaving the gym a full 15 minutes before even my scheduled vaccination time arrived.

Getting a free “Tigers get vaccinated” gold T-shirt on my way out, I joined 1,844 other Lilly Center vaccine recipients and 100 million Americans who have now received at least one shot as of Friday.

I felt good. Energized even. No feeling faint. No major issues ...

Then about 8 p.m. Sunday -- about 60 hours after my shot -- I began to feel the only ill-effects I’ve felt. Dull headache just above my left eye and throbbing in my right temple. My left arm was a bit numb and my mouth suddenly dry. I got a cramp in my left hand and reached out to see if any of this was normal.

My ex-wife says, “those were my symptoms when I got COVID.”

I sent texts to my daughters, my sister, a female friend and a co-worker for support. They were all great. Too worried probably. My sister wanted a local contact she could call if I didn’t answer my phone. My friend says she can be over in five seconds if necessary.

I took a couple Tylenol and was clearly feeling better by 9 o’clock. A small price to pay for immunity from the deadly virus.

So if you’re wavering at all on getting vaccinated for COVID-19, take it from a certified inoculation wimp who cringes (and nearly faints) any time needles or blood tests are involved: It’s easy-peasy.

While I was bragging about it in the aisle at Kroger Saturday morning, I could sense the guy with the cart full of Busch Light, tortilla chips and Entemann’s snacks was taking note.

“You know,” he whispered moments later, “they just implanted a microchip into you.”

I nodded and kept my cart moving, leaving the conspiracy theory back in the bread aisle.

Really, I wanted to take my best shot and respond.

“That’s great, now I’ll always know where I am.”

But that would have been a cheap shot.

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  • Great story and glad you got the shot! like they say..No pain..No Gain!

    -- Posted by localjoe on Tue, Apr 6, 2021, at 8:04 AM
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