Ames family to ‘Light Up the Night’ as legacy of lost brother, son, dad

Monday, October 25, 2021
Ethan Ames and his two children

Ethan Ames was a lot more than a name in the Putnam Scanner.

He was more than his addiction.

He was more than the man who lost his battle with addiction and other mental health struggles when he took his own life in April 2020.

At least that’s how his family remembers him.

They remember a practical joker, a hard worker, someone who brought joy to others and a loving son, brother and father.

Perhaps Ethan’s greatest legacy was as a cheerleader for his sister, his mother and others as they embarked on their own recovery journeys, even as he ultimately never found the lasting recovery that he sought.

“He was always the person that people would come to talk to,” Ashley Ames recalls. “He always had an ear for people to listen, he always had a shoulder to cry on. One of his friends in recovery said he would always bring her flowers on the anniversary of her mom’s passing. He really spent a lot of time and thought on how to cheer people up.”

It was in the aftermath of Ethan’s death that family and friends, spearheaded by sister Ashley Ames, founded the Ethan’s Legacy Project, a nonprofit aimed at lifting spirits, spreading compassion and supporting recovery.

On Saturday, the project will host its inaugural Light Up the Night beginning at 5 p.m. at 4576 E. CR 75 North, Fillmore.

The event will include hay rides, bonfires, music with a live DJ, food trucks, kids activities and a professional fireworks display featuring the music of AC/DC, Ethan’s favorite band.

More importantly, the event will feature local mental health and addiction recovery resources, uplifting messages and opportunities to share and connect with others.

The keynote speaker for the event will be Eric Rippy, founder and executive director of Recovery Raw as well as a board member of Ethan’s Legacy.

Other speakers will include John Lee, support coordinator at Indiana Recover Network and peer recovery coach at Indiana Addiction Issues Coalition; Erin Flick, substance use disorder team lead for Cummims Behavioral Health Systems; Danielle Burkett, manager of peer supports at Indiana Addictions Issues Coalition; and Pastor Steve Ailes of the Fillmore United Methodist Church.

It’s an evening combining fun on the farm with the farm and putting people in touch with the kind of mental and addiction help they need — just the kind of thing Ethan Ames would have loved.

“Over time I really started being pulled toward this idea of offering the kind of resource that I wish I had had or that I wish had been available for the 12-plus years that Ethan struggled and we struggled to support him,” Ashley said. “What would be helpful to other people like him and what would be helpful to other people like me?”

But as other people “came out of the woodwork” saying they understood some of the mental health and addiction problems that plagued Ethan, she realized it was more of a community need.

“I think out of that, it sort of grew this idea to have a community event that’s for everyone,” Ashley said. “We already have some resources for people who are in recovery and we have resources for people with mental illnesses, but I don’t know that there’s anything that’s community-wide for those people that suffer or struggle but also for people who are their neighbors and their friends and their family, to reach kind of a better understanding, to educate themselves and to show their support in a really helpful way.”

Even as he never found his ultimate recovery, Ashley and mom Regina hope the Ethan’s Legacy Project will lead others to recovery.

“Ethan got into recovery before we did, and in many ways he helped me when I decided I wanted to get sober and that I needed to get sober when I became a mom,” Ashley said. “I knew that to be the kind of mom I wanted to be, I needed to make changes in my life. He was kind of my cheerleader in a lot of ways and introduced me to Eric Rippy and Recovery Raw. He took me to meetings when I was here and was sort of my coach.”

Ethan Ames poses with sister Ashley and her daughter during a lock-in event on New Year’s Eve 2019, a few months before his death. An event hosted by the Ethan’s Legacy organization is set for 5 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 30 at the farm, 4576 E. CR 75 North.
Courtesy photo

It was after one of these Recovery Raw events, a New Years Eve lock-in on the last day of 2019, that Ashley said she had her last real heart-to-heart with her brother, who was starting to relapse at the time.

“We had a talk and he said, ‘I know I need to get sober but I’m just not ready yet,’” she recalled. “He didn’t get sober again. He thought he had more time and he didn’t. I think about that conversation all the time.

“I think about the times I’ve said to myself that I need to make changes in my life, but I’m young, I haven’t had any real consequences yet, I can recover from whatever it is. That was a real wake-up call that sometimes we don’t, sometimes we can’t.”

She also thinks about how Ethan’s mental health struggles were ultimately not treatable, yet she is finding treatment for her own. Through Ethan’s Legacy, she hopes to offer this to others.

Having watched her son struggle with his mental wellness since he was quite young, Regina also emphasizes how much that factor goes along with addiction.

“I think one of the important things that we see as a family is that often times with mental illness and addiction is that they go hand in hand, but they’re not always treated that way,” Regina said. “I’m a firm believer in the 12 steps in AA but it’s separate, the mental illness piece isn’t dealt with in that program, and in many programs the mental illness is sort of treated as its own thing going on. I like that we’ve got some groups now in Indiana that partner with Mental Health America of Indiana.”

It’s more of a holistic way of dealing with addiction and mental health for individuals and the community — not only recognizing the link between addiction and mental health, but also highlighting the joy along with the struggles.

“Ethan had his issues but he was a fun-loving guy who always made people laugh, always wanted to bring joy to other people,” Ashley said. “I think where I found meaning in going on today is to experience that joy for both of us or to do these joyful things for his son and daughter and my daughter and the community they’re going to grow up in.

“Yes, these are very serious issues, but too often they get talked about in this very sad, very somber way. We want to shine a light on them but we can come together as a community and have fun when we talk about them too. I think people who have gone through them and struggle with them tend to be, on the other side of it, joyful people who have found meaning in their life. There is this kind of hope.”

Ethan Ames looks up from his work on a farm truck at Ames 4K Farms.
Banner Graphic/JARED JERNAGAN
Comments
View 3 comments
Note: The nature of the Internet makes it impractical for our staff to review every comment. Please note that those who post comments on this website may do so using a screen name, which may or may not reflect a website user's actual name. Readers should be careful not to assign comments to real people who may have names similar to screen names. Refrain from obscenity in your comments, and to keep discussions civil, don't say anything in a way your grandmother would be ashamed to read.
  • A wonderful family doing wonderful things

    -- Posted by small town fan on Tue, Oct 26, 2021, at 7:41 AM
  • What a tribute to this young man taken way too soon. Thank you Ames Family for doing this event. May it create an everlasting legacy out of a tragic situation.

    -- Posted by infiremanemt on Tue, Oct 26, 2021, at 11:27 AM
  • God Bless this family.

    -- Posted by Queen53 on Tue, Oct 26, 2021, at 4:16 PM
Respond to this story

Posting a comment requires free registration: