Caine Gardner is the former sports editor and remains the BG film critic. He is also a Master of Panic.

That scammin' Grandpa Joe

Posted Thursday, March 24, 2011, at 5:44 PM

Having two young children, I get to watch an abundance of children's films and not all are bad. The fun part is bringing back some of the films I loved as a child, and who am I kidding, through my adult life to see what my daughter's think. And one of those gems is the original "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory".

My kids love it and that has been the recent cinematic obsession around my house, which I don't mind one bit. But after watching it over and over something began to bother me. Grandpa Joe.

I get it that he's incredibly happy for his young grandson and he seems to be good at heart, but this dude has been "bedridden" for 20 years, along with Charlie Bucket's other grandparents, while Charlie's mother is slaving away at a laundry and Charlie flings papers for coin.

Exhibit A: When his grandson reveals a loaf of bread and his mother inquires where he got it, good ol' Grandpa Joe says, "Who cares where he got it?" Charlie could've shanked someone on the way home, stole their money and bought the bread and Grandpa Joe seems to have been cool with it.

And what's the first thing he does when Charlie busts in the door with one of Wonka's golden tickets?

Grandpa Joe, the man who's been lounging around for 20 years sucking on cabbage water, pops up, begins dancing and declares, "I've got a golden ticket" while his grandson and he bounces around the house. Get that -- "I've got a golden ticket." Not my grandson does or you have a golden ticket, I've got a golden ticket.

And from the looks of his moves, I'm not so sure Grandpa Joe hasn't been sneaking out at night and hitting the local club. Just saying.

I guess watching his family survive solely on cabbage water wasn't enough for him to jump out of bed and lend a hand. It took a little golden ticket and a lifetime supply of chocolatey goodness to get him motivated.

Nevertheless, I still love that scammin' Grandpa Joe and all the rest of the interesting characters that make up "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory".

But even don't get me started on Grandma Georgina.