You always wonder, don't you? What would I have done if I'd been there when ... ?
Would I have jumped into the middle of the fray? Would I have slinked back into a corner? Would I have spoken up ... or bit my tongue?
Like, would I have held the door open 79 years ago this week at Central National Bank as John Dillinger and his gang made off with $75,000 in cash and negotiable bonds? I mean, you can still be polite, can't you?
Or would I have rushed forward the other night and yanked Richard Mourdock's foot from his mouth during the Senate debate? Heavens to Bob Knight and Connie Chung, don't talk about rape and abortion in the same breath. Certainly not with TV cameras rolling.
What would you do? I think that's already the idea behind some pretty bland TV Friday nights on ABC. Thank you, John Quiñones.
There was a time back during my first term here at the Banner Graphic when I instinctively reached out and grabbed the belt of now-general manager Daryl Taylor just as he was about to go headfirst out the second-floor purple doors while trying to throw a football down Franklin Street to another pressroom worker.
Darn belt held, too. Ah, there are always some things you live to regret, I guess (come on, I'm kidding).
Weird things like that seem to happen to me for some reason. Like being the last people served before The Monon shut its doors for good on Labor Day 2011. Why me, I often wonder ...
All of that has been running through my mind in the aftermath of a recent visit to Walmart. Yes, I was at Walmart on a Friday night. Had to have a giant bag of dog food, five bananas (because four aren't enough and six are too many) and pick up a couple of prescriptions.
I had one prescription that hadn't run out yet, but was within a couple of pills of refilling. Naturally, the pharmacy wouldn't do it Friday night. Too soon, you know (although I got a call at 9 a.m. Sunday telling me it was ready!).
So I am wheeling my cart through the men's section, fuming that I will have to make a return trip for those pills later when suddenly I'm thrust into the midst of a "Law & Order" episode.
"He's got my purse!" a female voice shrieks from what seems to be the frozen food section to my right.
Pausing to ponder if I had heard that correctly, I catch the eye of another shopper who seems equally confused.
"Do you think that's a real deal?" I ask.
Before he can answer, a squirrelly-looking little guy wearing an odd black hat walks hurriedly toward me in the east-west aisle between men's and women's unmentionables. Oddly, flashbacks of Lee Harvey Oswald hoofing through downtown Dallas in TV re-enactments cross my mind's eye. I mean the guy has some of the same physical traits and the quick pace makes him stick out suspiciously.
Plus, he looks as though he's hiding something under his jacket, as my new shopping buddy suggests.
My mind is racing now as he moves closer. Do I swing my cart out into his path and knock him down? But I don't really know that this is the guy for sure. He may just be someone from out of town who's equally out of place.
My fists clench on the blue handles of the cart, and I want to shove it at him. But common sense prevails (along with visions of lawsuits dancing in my head), and I don't.
"He was in an awful hurry, heading to the door," my fellow bystander shares in observation.
All of this has my adrenaline pumping and my mind racing.
Can't wait to find out the rest of the story. Where's Paul Harvey when you really need him?
At the checkout, the night manager -- who has been called to the scene to investigate the crime of my mismarked dog food price -- says it was indeed a real incident, and that the purse-snatcher has been nabbed.
On the way out, however, I run into GPD Officer Ed Wilson and find two other patrol cars outside.
So this week I have been asking about an incident report, only to learn that our thief apparently ditched the purse and got away somehow.
If I'd only rammed him with my cart ... or better yet, grabbed onto his belt. That always seems to defy gravity and my sanity.
But it's like I said earlier, you just have to wonder, don't you? And why me?