Well, you knew it had to happen sooner or later ...
Yep, I've been challenged to take part in the Ice Bucket Challenge, the ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) fundraiser that has gone virally berserk in recent days.
Greencastle High School football coaches did it (my khakis suffered collateral damage during that event, by the way).
Myers' Market personnel have taken the plunge.
And Thursday night several Greencastle City Police officers took part.
That's when Sgt. Charles Inman called me out, along with reporter Lauren Boucher, challenging us to dump a bucket of ice water over our heads in the name of charity.
Yay, like I'm going to do that ...
Chicken? Heck, yay, I'm a chicken.
It is here where I must invoke the sad, sad story of former NFL coach George Allen.
Long after his glory days with the Washington Redskins (we can still call them that, right?), Allen took over the Long Beach State football program. And after guiding the team to a winning season in 1990, players celebrated a season-ending victory by dumping a cooler of ice water (the program couldn't afford Gatorade, Allen had joked) on their 72-year-old coach.
Enduring the wet and cold to talk at length to the media, the drenched Allen contracted pneumonia and died (ventricular fibrillation was the official cause).
Granted, a bucket of ice water probably isn't going to kill me.
But then why do I feel like the Sundance Kid when he tells Butch Cassidy he can't swim?
"Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you," is his partner's response.
Hey, I know my track record. Earlier this week I got one of those caramel frappes at McDonald's. I'd barely left the parking lot when a gulp of the frigid liquid produced an ice cream headache in my chest. I thought I was going to need the heart paddles, properly warmed first, please.
I mean, come on, a guy knows his limitations. That's why you'll never see me stumbling around on two leaden left feet trying to pretend I'm enjoying Dancing with the Stars. No siree, Bob or Skip.
Maybe the Popcorn Bucket Challenge or the Wine Bucket Challenge or the McDonald's Iced Tea Challenge might make me change my mind.
But for now I have a multitude of reasons not to accept.
Hello ... I've seen "Titanic," thank you. Iceberg, straight ahead .... Too late!
Besides I get swimmer's ear.
And I don't want to get my hair wet.
Ice water isn't a good thing for a silk tie after all.
And then there's shrinkage ... Settle down, settle down, I'm talking about my dress shirts.
So yay, I have to say thanks, Sgt. Skip, but no thanks.
My check to ALS is in the mail.
Unless, of course, you could make co-workers Jared Jernagan, Kyle Hollinger, Jay Lockett and Daryl Taylor join me and Lauren ...
Then it just might be worth finding out how old and cold George Allen felt.