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Saturday, May 18, 2013

Lessons from the kids: Gravity Sucks

Posted Friday, April 27, 2012, at 12:53 AM

Having kids teaches you so much. Not just the things you expect like love and patience, but also things such as why gravity sucks.

Let's talk about the all-important topic of gravity. We all deal with it on a daily basis and as soon as you turn your back on it, it jumps out and shows you why it's still the boss.

While spending an evening with my kids recently, they decided to play tag in the house. In my infinite wisdom I said, "Be careful. Someone could lose an eye." Of course I said that half-joking, not realizing danger was literally right around the corner.

As my oldest daughter navigated her way past the washer and dryer, I noticed she was there and then gone -- just disappeared. When she reappeared, she was howling, holding her mouth with blood on her forehead.

As I assessed the situation, I noticed the blood wasn't coming from her forehead and realized I needed to shift my focus to her mouth. Sure enough, blood was all over her teeth. When asked what happened, it even took her a few minutes to put things together.

Then I finally got the play-by-play. As she rounded the corner, she put all of her weight on the top of the clothes hamper, whose lid promptly fell in and sent her on a collision course with the table. She couldn't have picked a better place to hit though.

She "caught" herself on the corner of the table right in the space where she's missing her upper front teeth and cut her gum in two places and busted her lip. After a few minutes sucking on a wet towel and some ice, the bleeding had ceased and all was good.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but I can assure you this old dog won't be running in the laundry area any time soon.



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Raising Caine
Caine Gardner
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Caine Gardner is the former sports editor and remains the BG film critic. He is also a Master of Panic.
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