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Saturday, Apr. 18, 2015

Ding-dong the witch is dead sure, but where's he been?

Posted Monday, May 2, 2011, at 10:05 AM

As word of the long-awaited demise of Osama bin Laden began to circulate Sunday night, my initial thoughts flashed to the question of where he might have been all this time.

And thanks to the good folks at iPhone, we have been able to track down some of Osama's most recent whereabouts.

So here are the top 10 places Osama bin Laden has been hiding since Sept. 11, 2001.

Bin Laden's been ...

10. Under that proverbial rock on the latest Geico commercial.

9. Marooned on the island, trying to decide between Ginger and Mary Ann.

8. Working as a roadie for Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga.

7. Secretly working out to succeed Curtis Painter as Peyton Manning's back-up.

6. Somewhere in the world, accompanied of course, by Waldo and Carmen Sandiego.

5. Tutoring Charlie Sheen on how to win friends and influence people. Duh, losing!

4. Chillin' at the Tora Bora tanning salon.

3. Auditioning for the new bio-pic film, "The Joaquin Phoenix Story."

2. Stuck in the drive-through, trying to get waited on at the Greencastle Sonic.

1. Just back from six years working in Fillmore.

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You remind me of Dick Wolfsie.

-- Posted by Xgamer on Tue, May 3, 2011, at 6:44 PM

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A native of Chicago and a graduate of the University of Missouri, Eric Bernsee has enjoyed residing in Greencastle for more than 25 years. Years of consuming McDonald's iced teas, Dairy Castle flurries and Marvin's GCBs have helped make him the man he is today.
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