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Here and There ... and Back Again
Brand Selvia

A trip to Bourbon Country

Posted Thursday, January 9, 2020, at 10:46 AM
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    Brand - this was a fairly solid effort.

    It's a little clunky in parts with some unnecessary filler thrown in there (like your sister and her boyfriend stuff), but still pretty solid.

    This needs fixed: "Mom and I were happy to get some grub to soak up all the alcohol, but it was cool to sit in a building which dates way back to 1779."

    The second sentence conjoined by "but" infers a contradiction or denigration/invalidation of the first sentence, however, there is none in your two sentences.

    You and your mother were happy to eat. It was cool to eat in a historical building. The better conjunction would've been "and".

    Overall I would grade it a solid C with an upward trajectory.

    Perhaps that grad school is doing some good after all. :)

    -- Posted by dreadpirateroberts on Fri, Jan 10, 2020, at 2:12 PM
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